This really reminds me of good old Japanese Pop ballads like Otsuka Ai's Kingyo Hanabi. Take a listen to that song if you haven't heard it. Anyone who knows me know that I've got a soft spot for this genre specifically. Such a classic melody and I love the instrumentation in this.
Critically, for me at least, I found it to be a little repetitive. The same melody repeated four times, although I do love the build up and the key change definitely added something to this piece. It also sounds a little like too many things I've heard already, but it could be argued that you captured a traditional Japanese melody skillfully.
I think you should hunt up a little Japanese girl and get her to sing for you. It would be a wonderful collaboration. Kudos and thanks for bringing more of this stuff to NG! :-)